Not a Review: I Sold My Soul

Without having any time lately to watch and review movies, it was decided (by Jay) that it would be good for me to create a Twitter account. Peer pressure wins again, and that last little branch I was clinging to has finally snapped, thus ending my (already long-failed) social networking boycott. Is Friendster still around?

Follow me on, ugh...Twitter: @MorrisView

Not a Review: Academy Awards Nominations

The Oscar nominations were announced today. I haven't seen everything on the docket, so I can't be totally objective here, but I just thought I'd give a few comments on some things I like and don't like.


Nice:


Best Picture: Moneyball - if you're going to nominate The Social Network, you have to nominate Moneyball. It's essentially the same movie (and written by the same guy), with equally compelling performances on an equally uninteresting subject matter. Happy to see Hollywood staying consistent, at the least. It was a good movie, too.

The Ides of March

The Ides of March (2011)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1124035/

George Clooney's political drama, The Ides of March, is a behind-the-scenes look at the race for the Democratic presidential nomination during the Ohio primary. Stephen Meyers (Ryan Gosling) is an idealistic press secretary working for Governor Mike Morris (no relation, played by Clooney), a like-minded liberal presidential candidate. Morris' campaign manager and Meyers' boss, Paul Zata (Philip Seymour Hoffman), works directly against Tom Duffy (Paul Giamatti), opposing candidate Senator Pullman's (Michael Mantell) lead man. Meyers' journey through a number of potentially career-ending events starts to alter his perception of ideals, and his perception of the political world. Not to be confused with a political thriller, this story pulls us through the mud, as we discover how dirty a presidential race can be.

Not a Review: F*ckin' Chuck Norris.

We all know movies like The Expendables aren't going to win any Oscars. They're not out to create gripping stories, complex characters or tear-jerking emotion. They are all about kicking ass, getting your blood pumping and not holding back. Gratuitous sex, violence and profanity is what gives these movies their value. The cheese factor of horrible action stars screaming and swearing and shooting and punching and kicking through fountains of CGI blood and guts and naked babes are the only reasons for watching such mindless drivel. As such, an R rating is required for these movies to be any good. They just have to be R. Take Die Hard. The trilogy kicks ass, and I'll have words with anyone that says different. But then they came back years later with Live Censored or Die Hard and what we got was "yippie ki-yay mother fahhhhhh!"

There are endless PG13 action movies that have been utterly forgettable, cookie-cutter action-factory pieces of crap that are only allowed one F-bomb and that cut away just before "Antagonist #1" blows away a hostage's face, designed only to rake in the dollars from ignorant teenagers. What makes the Expendables franchise the potential pinnacle of the genre is that it knows what it is: a collection of the biggest action cheeseballs making fun of itself with all the worst writing and buckets of blood to boot. Well, to my shock, I read this:

Puncture

Puncture (2011)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1582248/

Puncture is not your standard courtroom drama. Much in the vein of Erin Brockovich, the story splits focus between the ongoing case and the life of the lawyer trying it. Chris Evans plays Mike Weiss, a small-time, drug-addicted personal injury lawyer who lobs one in the face of the medical supply industry by championing a safety needle that the suppliers won't use because it costs too much money. His personal problems continue getting in the way of his partnership with Paul Danziger (played by one of the film's directors, Mark Kassen), and in the way of the case alongside safety needle inventor and client Jeffrey Dancort (Marshall Bell). Strong-armed and cast aside at every turn, Mark tries to find a way to battle both the corporate monster and his inner demons.

Not a Review: The Golden Globes

I watched the Golden Globes tonight.  Surprisingly, I was pretty impressed.  There was a good group of talent in this bunch, as opposed to several of the most recent years.  A lot of well deserved wins, some of whom I was rooting for, others I was not, but overall very good.  There were a few snubs and a few wins that were obviously...we'll say undeserving.  Big kudos to Claire Danes, Kelsey Grammer and Kate Winslet, my personal favorites on the list who ended up winning. If y'all haven't seen "Homeland" yet, check it out - it's good stuff.  I haven't seen a few of tonight's winners, so that should give me some more fuel for the blog when I get the chance.

I like Ricky Gervais as host.  He is somewhat hit or miss on his jokes, but I like that he's not afraid to rip on anyone that steps on stage. With so many presenters, he didn't get much screen time anyway, which is probably good, just in case. Speaking of presenters, it was the usual fare: actors who can't seem to make like they're not reading right off a prompter, and who can't deliver jokes. Why don't we just let a robot do this?  That would be much more memorable.

Morgan Freeman got his due with the Cecil B. DeMille award.  I had forgotten about some of the greats he's done throughout his career, so that will give me some things to go back and watch on rainy days.  Well deserved award.

Looking forward to see the Oscar nominations, although that popularity contest lost its integrity years ago (Three 6 Mafia, really?).  Still, Hollywood's biggest awards can't be ignored.  Let's hope they at least match the quality of the Globes this year.

Not a Review: Come on!

This is ridiculous.

http://www.comingsoon.net/films.php?id=54200

Rant after the jump!

Not a Review: God Dammit.

God dammit, Coen Brothers...

http://www.comingsoon.net/films.php?id=79004

Rant after the jump!

Red State

Red State (2011)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0873886/

Kevin Smith, of Clerks and Mallrats fame's latest offering comes in the form of Red State, a thriller about a group of teenagers who go out to the country in hopes of doing "the devil's deed" with a woman (Melissa Leo) they met on a...ahem...dating website.  However, when they show up, they get much more than they bargained for.  A local cult, run by zealot Abin Cooper (Michael Parks), has staged an execution to demonstrate the charge God has given them: to eradicate the abominations we know as homosexuals.  When the local authorities (Stephen Root) get wind of what's going on, they call in the ATF, led by Agent Joseph Keenan (John Goodman), charged with resolving the conflict at hand.

Not a Review: Possibly the Worst Idea Ever

I used to like Tim Burton.  He managed to turn Michael Keaton into a badass in Batman (and Beetle Juice!), and Edward Scissorhands had its unique artistic charm.  But lately, Burton has fallen so far off, I don't understand the carte blanche he seems to hold.  Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was like my worst nightmare come to life, and Alice in Wonderland seemed like he dunked his head in acid, then made a movie from his drug-induced visions.  However, this could top them all:

http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=85730

Rant after the jump!

Not a Review: Tim League Follows Suit

Just a few days after Roger Ebert posted his rant on the decline of movie theaters, Tim League, founder of the Alamo Drafthouse, adds his opinion.  Remember the hullabaloo with the cell phone girl (Magnited States of America!)?  This kind of thing is what makes the Alamo great.

http://www.hlntv.com/article/2012/01/06/box-office-decline-response-alamo-drafthouse-cinema?hpt=hp_bn13

This is good news!  I personally loathe going to the movie theater these days, so hopefully theater owners will take a page out of Ebert and League's books and turn things around for all the cinephiles out there.

Real Steel

Real Steel (2011)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0433035/

I went into Real Steel not expecting much.  The trailers always seemed kind of hokey, and as much as I like Hugh Jackman, it seems his career is on the decline.  I was actually surprised at how well this movie was rated and how much money it made.  Seemed like another Rollerball waiting to happen. Well, I can't say I really liked the movie, but it did perform better than expected.

The Guard

The Guard (2011)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1540133/

An unlikely duo of an Irish cop and an American FBI agent pair up to take down a drug smuggling ring that has landed in a small Irish town in The Guard, by John Michael McDonagh (brother of In Bruges, director Martin, also starring Brendan Gleeson).  While investigating a murder, standoffish Guard Sergeant Gerry Boyle (Gleeson) stumbles right into the middle of an international investigation, when straight-laced Agent Everett (Don Cheadle) shows up to coordinate the effort to apprehend the cadre of criminals.  The two will have to work together, despite polar character differences and a significant language barrier, to bring this ring down.

Not a Review: Ebert Chimes In

Todd just sent me this link, and I found it very interesting.  I think Ebert is spot on. Now let's hope someone actually pays attention to one of the world's most famous critics.

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20111228/COMMENTARY/111229973

When's the last time you went to the movies (and enjoyed it)?

Not a Review: Looper

For those who don't know me - I don't like Sci Fi.  Nothing about spaceships or phaser blasters interests me.  However, I can appreciate good film making, so I'm really looking forward to "Looper." Writer/director Rian Johnson's third project, he's teamed up with a personal favorite, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, with whom he previously worked on "Brick," one of my all-time favorite movies. It's also got Bruce Willis, which I'm actually a little worried about, since lately it seems he's decided to agree to whatever script (paycheck) is waved in his face, but hopefully Rian will spark his interest and we'll get a good performance out of him. I've been impressed, especially after just one movie, with the talent he's been able to put together, and Looper follows suit with another strong ensemble.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1276104/

The movie isn't coming out til much later this year, but Rian has been keeping a blog of sorts to keep people's appetites up.  Follow here:

http://loopermovie.tumblr.com/

Contagion

Contagion (2011)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1598778/

Steven Soderbergh's ends 2011 with Contagion, a thriller about a deadly disease spreading throughout the world like a wildfire, and the team of doctors trying to stop it. Mitch (Matt Damon) is at the center of the chaos, for it was his wife (Gwyneth Paltrow) who first contracted and ultimately spread the disease while on a trip to China. Dr. Cheever (Laurence Fishburne) heads up the CDC and is in charge of finding a vaccination/cure for the disease, aided by Dr. Mears (Kate Winslet), and...well, Jude Law, Marion Cotillard, Bryan Cranston, Elliot Gould and a whole slew of others all make appearances in the film, and who knows what they really do.

The Flowers of War

The Flowers of War (2011)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1410063/

Yimou Zhang's war drama The Flowers of War tells us the story of an American man, John Miller (Christian Bale), living as a mortician in China.  He's been paid to give a burial of a priest at a convent in Nanking during the Japanese occupation in World War II.  He arrives to find that the Chinese have already occupied the city and everyone but the convent girls and a priest's assistant have fled, but the former occupants of a brothel are also seeking refuge at the church.  While there, he begins to take responsibility for all the girls, and tries to save them all from the brutalities of the Japanese army.

Boy Wonder

This year, I've resolved to write a blurb about every new movie I watch. Not a full review, just some thoughts about the movie so at the end of the year, I can remember what I saw and if I liked it.  Maybe I'll look back on something I didn't like in a new light, or maybe I'll wonder what the hell I was thinking for liking one I shouldn't. I'm going to give each movie my initial score and recommendation, in case anyone wants to just skip to the end. So, without any further ado, I give you my first post, and the first movie I watched in 2012: